A world that is destined to die
At the end of every week, I'd tell one of my co-workers, "Do something that brings you joy!" It didn't matter that I may not have wished that for myself. I can find joy in the little things. Having moments of joy does not change the fact that I have fought depression for a good part of my life, and even when it may seem that I am on an even keel, I would rather not present myself to friends or strangers as not being okay.
Sometimes, when colleagues ask how I am, and I tell them I'm okay, they'll ask, "Just okay?" And I tell them, "For me, okay is good, or well." I'm as well as I can be in this world. There are no fan-fucking-tastic days, no excellent or really good days. There are days when all goes really well, or all goes to hell. And that's the way life goes. I know I'm not alone in this.
This essay was not meant to be about me. So many people in the world are traumatized by genocide, war, pre-emptive attacks. "Rachel weeping for her children . . . , " chapter uncountable. This morning, as I was on one of the trains heading downtown, I witnessed homeless encampment sweeps. I walk by an underpass every day where a number of people used to set up tents. These days, there are hardly any, perhaps one or two on each side of the paths. And someone still sleeps there without a tent.
Marvin Gaye wrote songs that describe some of the traumatic events above. The narrative that streams through his songs in the epic album What's Going On? depicts war, poverty, racism, and injustice. He recorded "The World is Rated X," around the same time, but most of us didn't get to hear it until after his death because the project You're The Man was shelved. I've been thinking about Marvin a lot lately, as the genocide continues and as white supremacy permeates through the Cabinet of our authoritarian government. I think about Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young and their song "Ohio," as the National Guard is called in to crush protests. And Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name of" continues to be relevant in America.
But the song that has been resonating with me for weeks now, is Marvin's deeply soulfully sung "Save the Children," especially the lyrics Who really cares/Who is willing to try/To save a world that is destined to die? Because, dear reader, the current US government in place right now, has an authoritarian leader who does not care about a good part of the world, or anyone who will not bend to his will, or rather, the will of those holding him upright. He certainly does not care about immigrant children being taken away from their parents, little children buried under the rubble in Gaza and Tehran.
And he doesn't care about those of us willing to try. To save parts of a world that he's deemed acceptable to die. The cognitive dissonance that more than a few of us are feeling is overwhelming, more so for those of us who feel too much, or are dismissed as being over- (or ultra) sensitive. I've been told that there is an end to this. I don't know when, or how. It is physically difficult for me to march as I used to during protests, but I am in solidarity with everyone who marches for human rights and justice. Because there is no peace without justice. Wars will not bring peace. Someday, more people will understand this. Maybe. When we smash patriarchy.
Until then, life will go on. And days when all will go really well. Or all will go to hell.